Despite my earlier idea of not getting into uni early, I was five minutes early anyway. ¬_¬ 
The seminar was good, for once the seminar tutor actually stuck to the point, didn't go off on one about Homer and didn't make me want to throw things at her head...too much. At one point she said "I'm going to ask Andrew to not answer anything today because he's the only one to ever answer" THANKS, THANKS A LOT, I FEEL MY SEMINAR CONTRIBUTIONS ARE COMPLETELY IGNORED. I know damn well I talk in that seminar and contribute things to the discussion, I don't like feeling that I'm the only person to fucking notice.

Anyway, other than that my day has been rather mundane, my book arrived, this makes me glee.

Ugh David Beckham made it onto the 2002 list of Greatest Britons...seriously, he kicks a ball about a field...Boy fucking George is on there too...I want to slam my head against the nearest wall as I pity for humanity.

Later days.

I will kill you all....in fiction.

I've just ordered The Crime Writers Reference: 1001  Tips for Writing the Perfect Crime, Howdunit Forensics: A Guide for Writers, and The Crime Writers Guide to Police Practice and Procedure.

I anticipate their arrival.

Muahahaha.

So the kitchen is mostly tidy, we have plates and other stuff, the oven is a bag of shit and killed the electricity so an electrician is going to fix this tomorrow or arrange for us to get a new oven. I vote for new oven, the old one doesn't have numbers or temperatures so yeah tis shit.

Um, my room is mostly organised, just needs a few more items sorting then vacuuming.

Huzzah!

Later days

PS: Chris is an arse because he hasn't moved in. XD

Remind me to never get my hair cut again.

I hate my hair, I look at it and feel like crying, the layers are wonky, the back rather than getting longer gradually just goes boom longer and so it looks like a long mullet, I hate it, its longer on one side than the other, before i got it cut i loved how it looked, but it had split ends, so I went and i should have asked for a trim, instead i got several inches taken off, it could be a year before my hair doesn't look shit and I want to cry now.

My hair was the one thing, the ONE fucking thing about myself that I liked, and now it looks horrible. Its stupid and its vain but is it too much to ask for a hairdresser who doesn;t fuck my hair up?

Something about being up late at night makes me start contemplating things.

I get bored at home and flick through mum's magazines, they're aimed at woman so generally have stories about cheating husbands with the ocasional murder thrown in.
They all have fashion and beauty sections, they seem to alternate on a weekly basis between telling women that they need to lose weight but not too much because slim girls are hideous and how being big is beautiful and oh yeah slim girls are hideous. They say that the right hair colour/style and the right make-up improves your chances of love and that wearing certain items of clothing will improve you for the male eyes.
They usually throw in that slim girls dont look good in any nice clothes so don't get too slim. (I wish I was kidding)

Recently I went to new look, i wanted a pair of jeans to go with my new boots. They claimed they had jeans in leg length 28, as hard as I looked I couldn't find any. There were plenty in other leg lengths but not my own. I looked around the store and there was nothing for the petite woman, however they did have a section for larger women and a section for taller women. Now this isn't the first time I've noticed that small women are generally not catered for, when the petite range first came in the items were terribly old fashioned aimed at older women. As a young woman I was not impressed. The magazine I buy things from has a petite range, however at best the clothes could be called working women or boring, its the plain and boring stuff thats made petite, the stuff you can wear to the office, nothing sexy and funky.

I read somewhere that petite models are around 5ft7, thats at least three inches taller than the largest size for petite clothing.

There's a shop called long tall sally, it caters for tall women and evans has clothing above size 14. Now I'm not saying larger people don't deserve nice clothes, I know how hard it is to find clothing that fits that is stylish, but despite all this, I still cannot find shops easily. Sure they might advertise they sell a certain size but look at the small print they generally say that not every store will sell the stuff. But I can imagine what would happen if shops stopped selling clothing for larger women, the word discrimination would be thrown about at every turn.

Vanity sizing meant that a size 8 became a size 6, so if you were a 12, look you're now a 10 and you didnt have to cut down on cake, you're not over weight, you're fantastic. Who cares about your health, it doesn't matter because now you're not an unhealthy size.
You see the thing that annoys me is, I eat, I have a healthy appetite and I enjoy food, I love salad and veg as well as meats and pasta and rice. My diet is varied and I also enjoy going for walks. So because I'm naturally slim I'm punished. Because I'm natually short, I cant find clothing that fits. How is this fair? If I say discrimination I'll be laughed at because well I'm so fucking lucky, I am slim and petite, I'm cute and adorable and guys love tiny women. Never mind the times I've been in tears because I've needed something smart for an interview or a party and nothing has fit, its all been huge, never mind the times I've been asked if I'm anorexic or bullemic because i'm small it doesnt matter if you're rude to me. Never mind the times people have assumed I diet or had surgery.
I'm small and thats what is wanted, well let me ask this, if its so wanted why do I have to walk around the shops for hours before I find clothing that even fits? Why can I go into any high street shop and find up to and over a size 20 and yet ask for a size 6 and I get sneered at "We don't have clothing that small".
Why is it only idiot models and air head footballers wives who think that being skinny is attractive, ask most people and they say that curves look better, so for women who can't gain weight, we're not wanted anywhere.

I get tired of insensitive comments about my weight, I get tired of people accusing me of being lucky, I get tired of hating how I look because no matter what I do I can't gain weight so can't be a normal clothing size.

Rant over.

Copy and paste the following questions into your LiveJournal, answering them as you go along. Give a brief description to those that don't require a yes or no. Be truthful! Your friends may ask you questions based on your answers. Afterwards, you can tag as many friends as you want, and they must do the same.

1: What is your favourite nickname personally?
Cat Goddess...or Pam

2: Who is your best friend that isn't on the internet?
Um Sazzy and Becci, they're on the internet but I met them offline, in the real world.

3: Do you like where you live?
Manchester, nuff said really

4: You freak people out when...
I describe in graphic detail having my head ripped open by a cat XD

5: Hentai or Taihen?
Hentai...or neither...what is Taihen dare I ask?

6: What are you listening to at the moment?
Hopeless Case - Less than Jake

7: Name two things you did this morning?
Drank caffeine, fussed the cats

8: Sport of choice?
I love watching Ice Hockey

9: If you could sledge one of your friends over anything, what would you say to them?
If you are who I think you are I'm totally confused by your behaviour, what do you want from me?

10: Country with Red and White in its flag?
England

11: Who is your favourite songwriter?
OOh, now thats a toughie, there are a lot of bands I like, Vidoll has nice lyrics, however find Hopeless Case by Less than Jake on youtube or something, it really hits a chord with me so yeah, I cant choose.

12: Radio station of choice?
None

13: First gaming console, and how old were you when you got it?
PS2, when I was about 20, I bought it from a friend who was moving to America

14: Name one thing you've done within the past two weeks that you feel rather proud of doing?
Well this was more than two weeks ago but I organised all my train tickets to see Cal and Becci, it was about 8 tickets in all and I did it without fecking up. (is trying to swear less)

15: Name one person who has a "hottie" crush on you.
Um, I had an anonymous love letter on Facebook in the honesty box, however, Cal has a hottie crush on me, and I assume other people may do too, after all lots of people were dropped on their heads at birth lol

16: One country you'd love to rule, for whatever reason?
America, I'd so love to be able to take the NHS and shove it in their face showing them that health care is not evil and that if the people are in better health than they can work and there would be more than 10% of the population above the poverty line. Also I'd bitch slap Bush and Bush jr.

17: What do you look for most in the opposite sex?
Nice smile and eyes, nice arms and hands (I dont know why, they just do it for me) cleanliness, humour and a brain

18: Older, Younger, or Either or?
I've dated older and younger but never the same age

19: Favourite foreign food, that is, cannot be related to your nationality?
Hmm, I love noodle dishes.

20: Anything you regret in the past year?
We all have regrets, I choose to not let them get me down anymore.

21: Most pleasing present you gave to a friend?
Weirdly enough, I gave a pair of socks I'd bought in Camden to Sazzy as a random gift, she was totally surprised and yeah that pleased me.

22: Three games (from different series) you've overplayed to death?
Phoenix Wright, SIMS, Theme Hospital

23: Pick a puzzle game.
Um...Cluedo?

24: Favourite character?
Tamaki Suoh, he makes me laugh all the time. Gambit from X-Men, he's awesome!

25: Sexual desire for said character?
Haha none really, I'd just hang out with him and have him serve me tea and cakes. Gambit is a hottie, so yeah *purr*

26: Pick a microcomputer (or a computer that isn't an IBM-type) that people haven't really heard of, and briefly say why you picked it?
Um...I don't really understand what I'm being asked, so, I'll tell you about my new laptop, its a Dell Inspiron 1545, in Cherry Red, its shiny and cute with a 15 inch screen and its surprisingly light and compact. I have an Ouran High School Host Club wallpaper on it and am enjoying its shinyness and the fact it has 3gb of RAM and a 160 GB hard drive.

27: What was the name of the game you last completed, and what system was it on?
Phoenix Wright 1 for the Nintendo DS

28: Favourite dessert?
Hard to say, I love Lemon Mirangue pie, Cheesecake (raspberry or lemon), Chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, Chris' baked cheesecake is God.

29: Favourite native food?
Fish and Chips! (I like mine with gravy)

30: Last thing you drew?
A smily face on the train window to make Callum smile as we said goodbye before I left for Manchester.

31: Last thing you wrote (that isn't this entry or a previous LiveJournal entry)?
I started a short story, its not going very well I have a mental block.

32: Last time you played a musical instrument, and what was it?
I sang yesterday for about twenty minutes, that totally counts.

33: Favourite hobby?
Writing, drawing, cooking yummy food (I'm a good cook but Chris is way better)

34: Milkshake or Flavoured Milk (there is a difference)?
Milkshake, i love refreshers milkshakes

35: Car Guy/Gal, or Bike Bloke/Babe?
Gotta admit, I'm a bike girl

36: If you could pick a dream date with one of your celebrity crushes, who would you pick and why?
Um, Ooh...one sec (goes to IMDB to find out his name) Taylor Kitsch who plays Gambit in X-Men Origins is a hotty, that and I love Gambit, he's amazing! There are rumours about a Gambit film, *squeals loudly*

37: Favourite personal catchphrase?
Meow

38: What's your dream car if you're a car guy/gal, or dream bike if you're a bike bloke/babe, but it has to be practical?
Um...The Honda VFR800 ABS, in red, its gorgeous.

39: If you had two million monies of your currency (i.e. £2,000,000), what would you do with it?
I'd buy a nice house, it needs, ahem, at least three bedrooms, a study, a room large enough to be a library, conservatory, large kitchen/dining room and a large lounge. Then I'd buy a shit load of books and dvd;s and comfy furniture.

40: Last but not least, who're you going to tag?
Callum, Becci, James, Sazzy you are tagged.

Recently I did something I haven't done in a long time. I watched an entire 26 episodes of an anime in a short space of time. Usually when it comes to watching anime I watch a few episodes and then get bored and don't watch any more. Chris had been rattling on about Ouran High School Host Club for a week or so, he sent me clips and it was amusing, so I decided to watch the first episode.
Luckily for me all 26 episodes, subs and dubs, were up on youtube, as youtube loads quicker than most websites that host shows I was pleased. I enjoyed the first episode, the style was nice, the dubbing was good (anime purists can sod off I couldn't be bothered reading sub-titles), I was quickly endeared to the characters, overall a good start, however this didn't mean I'd watch any further. By episode 4 I was happy to carry on watching, I recommended to Callum and he agreed with my praise of the show. When Callum came to visit for my birthday we spent the next three days watching the rest. By episode 9 I was happy to call it a favourite series. Not that anything in particular happened in episode 9 to make me say this, but the quality of the show did not disintergrate as happens so often with shows that are so called "OMG Amazing".
Last night I watched the final episode, it brought tears to my eyes but also did something that very few anime have succeeded in achieving, it rounded the plot up nicely, answered questions that were unanswered and generally gave a great ending that suited the tone of the anime. The thing with Ouran is, its very multi-genre, sure you can call it a comedy romance, but there's also levels of drama intersperced with action, it has boy love, girl love and het love, and none of the loves are pushed higher than any other. Though Haruhi and Tamaki are the couple most focused on its not the be all and end all of the anime, the lives of the host club members and how the host club came to be is pushed forward as the focus of the show. The characters like I said are endearing, at first obviously stereotyped we see that this is a clever ploy by the club members to help make the host club successful, once the show begins to focus on who the members are we see that they are individuals with common interests. Its rather refreshing to take a break from the generic characters and be entertained for 26 episodes by individuals.

Looking about online I saw a lot of people wanted a season two, for this reason I was worried about the final episode, many people seemed to be implying that there was too much left unsaid, however watching the episode the most I can say is where they watching the same episode I did? I can agree that a second season would not be unwelcome, the ending left it open for more crazy club hijinks and I would enjoy seeing a second season, however its highly unlikely that this will ever happen, the show was completed in 2006 and you would think by now that someone would have started thinking about a season 2, the series was only ever licensed for 26 episodes and whilst popularity of the show can encourage the creation of a second series I don't think it will happen with Ouran. As it stands it is wrapped up nicely, a second series may not be as well done, it could lead to questions needing answering that just don't get answered, all sorts of bad stuff that I don't want.

Now, having watched the series I plan to buy the DVDs, I enjoyed the show enough to do this, to support the creators by buying it on shiny DVD's I can watch over and over. I also searched ebay and found plushies, I want them! XD

Anyway thats enough rambling from me.

Later days.

I am back from Devon.
It was great, the place we stayed in was really gorgeous, I took pictures so will upload them when I'm not in Berkshire. It was right on the river so if you looked over the back garden wall there was water and boats and seagulls. We saw the ultimate seaside view, a seagull on a buoy, it made us all laugh.
Monday I went to the Eden Project, its so amazing! I loved the tropical biome, it was hot and humid in there but there was huge trees and leafy bushes and vibrant flowers and fruit, pineapples, bananas and loads of tropical fruit growing, in England, its just so wow. Walking round it was tiring because it was uphill then downhill, the project was built in a clay quarry so while you're driving towards it you can't see anything and then you see all these trees and these enormous domes, its so amazing. I liked the temperate biome as well but it wasn't quite as jaw dropping.
I bought myself a t-shirt there, it was 15 for an adult T or 7.50 for a childs...I'm tiny so I bought the largest child's T, it fits me comfortably.
After I got to ride in a steam train, Cal's mum Hillary spotted it on the way back from the project and it was quite fun.
On the Tuesday Cal and I set off on our own on the bus, we checked out Bideford which is pretty and has some interesting shops, we then went to Barnstaple, its rather chavvy, a generic town but it was fine for visiting.
Wednesday we went to Clovelly which is OMG super steep! My legs killed afterwards and we got the landrover back up after getting food from a local pub/restaurant. Clovelly is really lovely though and there was a waterfall and cute tourist shops. We also visited Hartland Point which was nice and had some pretty amazing coastline.
Thursday the weather cheered up and we went to the beach, we bought a windbreaker which was a good idea because wow was it windy, out of the wind it was quite hot and I enjoyed it but in the wind I felt cold. We stayed a few hours before we got fed up of being covered in sand all the time.
Friday we decided to travel to Tintagel, I got to explore the ruined castle and we also headed down onto the cove, there's a cave where Uther Pendragon apparently bonked his lady and Arthur was conceived...now how historians and writers came up with that is beyond me, its not like he scratched into the cave wall Uther was here, bonking his bird...creative license lol. After being exhausted by Tintagel, there was a lot of steps to climb, we headed to Boscastle, I've wanted to go there for ages to look around the witchcraft museum, I really enjoyed it and bought a t-shirt.

Three times in the week we went to The Beaver Inn for food, it was amazing food each time. Cal's dad Ian also BBQ'd.

Tomorrow we're being driven to Liverpool, I'll help Cal get settled then we head to Manchester where Cal helps me sort out some of my stuff, I'm struggling on my own.

Later days.

 I've been in a downloading mood lately, so far I have a hella lot of Sixpence None the Richer, some Savage Garden, Miyavi and Glamorous Honey, I'm not sure what's spurred me on other than boredom...I'm reaaally bored.

 Its nothing major but me and Cal had a small argument, I was trying to draw and it was going wrong again, anyway I mentioned it to him and he says "maybe you should try abstract" it felt like a slap in the face and he doesn't have a clue why I'm mad at him. Why do I bother?

 Darcey is alive and well and a little sweetheart.
Just for the laughs (i swear she planned this) mum takes Darcey to the vet and warns him that her royal grumpiness had been in a foul mood and to watch her claws. He gets Darcey out who sweetly cuddles into him and even purrs a little bit. Then the vet puts the cat carrier back together and says to Darcey, "in you go" and she does...without a fuss. it took both me and mum to get her in and she scratched mum and I managed to avoid her scratching me. For the vet she's a little angel.

Anyway we go to pick her up and when she see's me she goes crazy trying to get a fuss from me...yeah she's not wanted me to fuss her in months. She's been a changed cat ever since...with the odd spat with the other cats which is to be expected.

I swear I will never understand my cats.

 Darcey is due to be spade tomorrow, so the vet requested we keep her indoors. This of course meant that mum managed to let her escape this morning. She finally came in half an hour ago with a smirk on her face.
Because Darcey was out we decided we may as well keep the back door open and let the kittens have some freedom, we did this a few days ago and they came back quite happily. Tonight however I spotted Darcey on the wall and thought it was high time they all came in. I managed to grab Abe and put him inside earning myself a nice cut on my stomach, its nothing major and doesn't hurt much but still, feh...anyway I then walk round to my neighbours back yard and try to grab Sebastian who makes a run for it. 
Now let me explain, our yard is surrounded by a 6 ft high brick wall, its rather thick, Robert (the next door neighbour) for reasons unknown and possibly not his idea, has attached a fence to this giving the kittens a gap of about 6 inches between wall and fence to hide between. Seb made a dive for the gap so I went back into my yard, climbed on top of the wall (for some reason there are screws sticking out the top of the wall, I didn't find out until my elbow landed on one) and then tried in vain to coax the kittens out of their hiding place, Patrick was there too, he looked smug. Anyway I've been sat there a few minutes when Mum comes out and I ask for the hose pipe, Mike walks round to Roberts yard and blocks the exit and I squirt Seb out of his hiding place, he eventually runs around and into our yard where he enters the house after shooting me a filthy look. In the mean time Darcey delicately walks around the wall and into the house with a look of "I was going to come in anyway, idiot" but Patrick still won't come out. I squirt him full in the face and he huddles in his space looking sad, I then realise he can't go backwards, only forwards, so I squirt at his bum and he runs out and into our yard, he seems pretty eager to get into the house then...I wonder why. This is when I realise I'm stuck, I climbed up the wall using the ladder and getting back onto it seems dodgy because its closed and chained to the wall, not very secure, so I crawl along the wall all the way around and climb down the gate. My knees hurt, my elbows hurt and my back hurts but for some unknown reason Patrick doesn't hate me. 
So its not all bad.

Sometimes I think the kittens are trying to kill me.

 Ya ever feel that life is passing you by? Becci is joining a gym and toning up, Saz is in Japan...Pam is doing nothing. My knee hurts and because of issues with going away soon I can't start back at MMA for nearly three weeks. :( I feel out of shape and okay yeah I'm slim but I'm not toned at all and that annoys me. 

I feel like I'm in a rut...I dislike this rut.

 I PASSED, WOOHOO!!!!

Whatever God (Goddess)  heard my prayers for a passing grade I thank you!

Pam has just downloaded the Less Than Jake discography, I'm now resisting the urge to skank around my bedroom...I have not enough room to do this...I want to play this music loud and dance a lot...it appeals to me!

Did I ever mention I love ska music? And the 90's punkrock like Greenday, Blink 182, Sum41 (before he married avril lavigne and went emo) and loads more that make me want to dance...music now seems to totally suck...unless its some pretty amazing Japanese rock bands.

Later days. 

 Not had much chance to post. This won't be a big post just an update.

First Yay for James getting onto the PHD, its great having friends who succeed I feel happy for him!

The kittens chewed through my phone charger, well done kittens. Callum immediately ordered one for me online which is great because I was upset about the added cost of a charger when I dont have a lot of money.

I plugged my MP3 player into mums computer, my computer doesn't recognise it after I accidentally deleted the firmware, mums computer immediately recognised it and I was able to install new firmware, it works fine now I just need to upload some music onto it.

Moving things into my bedroom is hard especially when my room is the size of a postbox...so its going slowly...hopefully I'll be able to get everything in there...hopefully.

I miss Sazzy, I keep seeing things I want to tell her because she'd find them funny but I can't even text her...oh well she'll be back soon enough.

I've now watched pretty much every episode of The Weekenders on Youtube...I love that show it reminds me of the times when cartoons were fun and intelligent, now they're just stupid.

Later days.

 My computer is set up in my room and all that is missing is the rest of my crap, then I'm officially moved back.
Yesterday Cal went back to Liverpool. His parents picked him up today and he's home now.
Last night I was walking back from the coach station when I saw a guy slumped against a wall, he wasn't moving and I couldnt see if he was breathing. Being a decent human being I dialled 999 and asked for an ambulance, the operator asked me to wait so I could guide the ambulance to him. I was waiting when 4 chavs appeared, one did the usual 14 year old chav of "my mate fancies you" I politely told him I wasn't single and he pointed to the guy on the floor and said "is that your boyfriend?" I said no and explained I'd found him and had called and ambulance, one of the idiots went to move him and I put my arm in front of him and said "Don't move him it could aggrovate any injuries" apparently this was the wrong thing to do, fat female chav goes ballistic screaming "don't you fucking touch him or I'll fucking break your fucking glasses!" I barely touched the guy, just enough to stop the fucking moron from potentially injuring someone. I was shocked and intimidated, sure they were all about 14-15 but there was 4 of them. Anyway, they stomped off leaving me stunned and upset...I've never been threatened before and especially not whilst trying to help someone in need. It leaves me wondering is it worth helping people in need if the rest of the world seems determined to break my face for trying. While I waited for the ambulance a lot of people walked by, looked at the guy and walked off, no-one stopped to help. They should be ashamed, sure the guy was probably drunk (I don't actually know what was wrong the ambulance crew said I could go when they arrived) or he could have been stabbed, ill, fallen into a diabetic coma, he wasn't homeless he looked too neat and tidy, I couldn't leave him, it wouldn't have been right. I was the only person to try and help even though all I did was call for an ambulance, I feel sort of ashamed I didn't even check his pulse but I was alone and that makes me vulnerable especially in Manchester City Centre on a Friday night...not a position I want to be in.

I don't regret calling an ambulance I just wish at least one person (not chav) had stopped to ask if I needed help.

Later days

MISSING, IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN IMMEDIATELY THIEVING SCUM!

Okay perhaps I'm being melodramatic...after all, nobody on my f-list would have done this.

So far I have missing:

Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett (Did I lend this to someone then forget? I can't remember doing so but you never know...)
A make-up compact of eye shadows, I've only had this a few weeks and I can't find it...I suspect one of my housemates or a friend of theirs maybe. (Found, yay)
Kiki's delivery service and two other Ghibli films...the disc is missing from the collection case and I'm not happy about it...searching my room has confirmed it seems to have disappeared into thin air.

Pam is not happy. :-(